Harry Potter and WHAT THE HECK!
by Quite Insane
Summary: Randomness everywhere. I have no idea where this stuff is comming from. ((mild language))
1. The first chapter

This is just a thing I started writing.. I don't know why... This is just the beginning... Please let me know what you think.. It's not very good I think, but what the heck..  
  
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"Let's go find trouble! Get ourselves lost in the woods or find a dangerous adventure where we could very easily be killed!" Harry suggested excitedly, walking outside of the school to the greenhouses with Ron and Hermione.  
  
"I don't like spiders!" Ron screamed for no apparent reason.  
  
"Fine then Ron, let's go visit Hagrid and ask him to take us to visit that really big spider in the Dark Forest then." Harry said.  
  
Ron turned pale, like he always does, his ears burning red in embarrassment as Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle approached. Crabbe and Goyle were shoving their faces with cupcakes because they were too stupid to do anything else.  
  
"Getting yourselves in trouble I see?" Malfoy sneered, his hair overly greasy.  
  
"No Malfoy, actually, we're on our way to the greenhouses for class, aren't we boys?" Hermione replied coolly.  
  
"No Hermione, we were on our way to visit Hagrid." Harry contradicted.  
  
"Harry, can we panic now?!" Ron squealed in a very girlish manner.  
  
"Ah, the Weasel. Switching teams now, are we? Turning into a girl??" Malfoy replied.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOO!" the six school children heard a high pitched scream in the distance. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Malfoy ran towards the forest because that's where they thought the scream was coming from. Crabbe and Goyle just plopped down on the grass and ate their cupcakes because they were too stupid to run.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" they heard again, coming from inside Hagrid's hut. They all ran to the front door and tried to open it, Harry going first to try to show off his strength, he couldn't budge it. Ron next, to try to out do Harry, it didn't move. Malfoy going next, trying to show that pure bloods are stronger and better at everything, but it didn't' move at all.  
  
"Oh move over!" Hermione shouted at the stupid boys who were trying to out do each other. "You are such boys! Trying to out do each other like that! Let me through!" she pushed her way to Hagrid's front door.  
  
"Hermione, if Ron, Malfoy, and I couldn't open the door, you surely cant!" Harry shouted at her.  
  
"I hate to say it, Mudblood, but Scar head is right." Malfoy sneered.  
  
"Is that so?" Hermione replied, smiling slyly.  
  
"Yeah." Harry said. "I'll eat my shoe if you can open that door!" Harry added, sure he wouldn't have to.  
  
Hermione smirked and placed her hand on the doorknob. She twisted the doorknob and the door popped right open. She smirked triumphantly, "You better start chewing, Potter!"  
  
All three boys stared at her. "That's one way to make anyone feel really stupid." Ron commented.  
  
Hermione swung the door open. Ron, Harry, Malfoy, Hermione, Sirius, Hagrid, Crabbe, Goyle, Lupin, Fred, and George all screamed at the top of their lungs. A very girlish scream from most of them.  
  
"Like, Oh my God! Like, What the hell are you like, doing??" Ron asked over his (and everyone else's scream). 


	2. In which I have no idea what's going on

Shout outs! :  
punketrix  
  
Chapter Two: In which I have no Idea what's going on!  
  
"Think you can be any more like Ginny?" Fred, or was it George, asked Ron after everyone stopped screaming.  
  
"Like, I don't know. I just like, got really scared and I guess I just like always like start like talking like this when I like get like that like scared." Ron replied, walking into Hagrid's hut and sat right in the middle of the floor.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU THREE?! Wait, four? What's DRACO doing WITH you?!" Hagrid screamed, which came out extra loud because Lupin, Sirius, Fred, George, and the real Mad-Eye Moody said the same thing. (Mad- Eye just appeared out of a wormhole.)  
  
"We wanted to find trouble so we came here to find you Hagrid, you always tell us things that you shouldn't." Hermione said over a book that she had found and promptly stuck her nose into.  
  
"Blimey Harry! Why don't you come in? You're bound to get a cold standing out there in the middle of the summer!" Hagrid commented, not really knowing what he was saying.  
  
Harry stormed into the hut. "Why does EVERYONE baby ME all of the TIME?! RON is the ONE who SHOULD be BABIED!!! HE is the YOUNGEST!!" Harry screamed, running around the hut like a mad man.  
  
Looking up to Harry, besides, he is the boy who lived, everyone started to dance around like monkeys, except Hermione who was now surrounded by at least ten books, all of which she was reading at the same time.  
  
"LIKO LIKO LIKO! I'M A SQUEEKY GUY! I GOT SQUEAKY PANTS!! COME CHECK OUT MY SQUEAKY PANT'S DANCE!!!!" Lupin shouted as he danced around with a floppy disc taped to his head.  
  
"QUI QUA QUI QUA!!!!! PUNKADI!!!!!! PUNKADI!!!!! PUNKADI!!!! PUNKADI!!!! PUNKADI!!!!! ANT RUTHIE!!! ANT RUTHIE!!!!! THERE'S KETCHUP ON THE COMPUTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Sirius screamed, jumping around like a crazed lunatic.  
  
"PUNK REAR!! PUNK REAR!!!!!!!! PUNK REAR!!!!!!!!!! PUNK REAR!!!!!" George and Fred shouted together jumping around on their heads.  
  
Everyone was having fun being a lunatic until suddenly, a maggot filled giant eyeball rolled into the room.  
  
Sirius screamed a very high pitched scream. "EWE A GIANT MAGGOT FILLED EYEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET IT AWAY FROM MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He shouted, dancing around on the table.  
  
"Awe, it's just a baby. You're gonna hurt it's feelings." Hagrid defended the eye, hugging it.  
  
Mad-Eye Moody saw the eye, only not very well. Really, it saw him. "Maggie!" He exclaimed, running across the hut and embracing the eyeball, "Maggie I've missed you! You found me!" he added, picking the eye up and putting it in his eye socket. Now he had one really really small black eye and one very very large maggot filled eye.  
  
"EWE!! You actually WEAR that THING?" Malfoy screamed jumping up and down like a baboon.  
  
Suddenly, everyone burst out in song at once. Every one that is, except Hermione who was still trying to read ten books at once.  
  
Amid the song, Fred, George, Lupin, Goyle, Crabbe, Hagrid, Siruis, and Mad- Eye Moody all randomly disappeared at random times. When Ron and Harry and Malfoy stopped singing and found that everyone had left them, they started to cry. Hermione paid no attention because she was reading ten books.  
  
"I'm LEAVING!" Malfoy cried, running outside of the hut. "I feel so ALONE and UNLOVED!"  
  
"MEEEE TOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron followed.  
  
Harry looked around and found Hermione. She looked like an angel sitting there reading her books. "Hello Hermione." He commented, looking smug.  
  
She looked up. "Hello Harry, where'd you come from?"  
  
Harry looked around. "I was about to ask you the same question, 'Mione" he said. "I've been here. You just appeared."  
  
"Did not!" Hermione argued. "Did to!" Harry argued back. "Did not!" Hermione argued. "Did to!" Harry argued back. "Did not!" Hermione argued. "Did to!" Harry argued back. "I was sitting here for a long time reading." Hermione argued. "Were not!" Harry argued. "Were to!" Hermione argued back. "Were not!" Harry argued. "Were to!" Hermione argued back.  
  
Will Harry and Hermione ever stop arguing? Will Ron and Malfoy ever stop running around like crazed insane lunatics? Will Snape ever rear his ugly head? Tune in next time! 


End file.
